Mastering the Art of Feedback: A Guide to Requesting and Receiving Feedback

This article is one of six articles in the mini-series “Feedback Is a Gift” to help you navigate these uncomfortable conversations year-round.  

Imagine this scenario: You’ve been tirelessly working throughout the year, meeting deadlines, and always making yourself readily available. You’re eagerly awaiting your year-end employee performance review, sure that you’ll get top-notch ratings, and that big raise you’ve been striving for. When the review finally arrives, you’re met with ratings of fours and threes, dashing your hopes of a substantial raise. It’s a tale all too common, where expectations fall short, and you’re left wondering what it takes to achieve that elusive five, “significantly exceeds expectations.”

In this article, we’ll delve into the world of feedback, dissecting how to request and receive it effectively. The goal is to empower you to drive your career towards the direction you desire.

Feedback: The Power of Specificity

A recent study indicates that nearly 20% of employees find that feedback is lacking in specificity, especially during mid-year and year-end performance evaluations. 

Clearly there are set expectations if a manager can provide a rating that indicates whether you met them. Yet how to meet those expectations are unclear and undefined. To bridge this gap, consider being proactive and asking your manager (and colleagues) for specific feedback outside of formal review periods. This approach can help you ensure that you’re on target to meet the goals you’ve set for yourself.

Remember, feedback should be your compass that guides you towards your objectives.  Request feedback from your peers, employees, and managers to discern your strengths as well as areas for improvement. 

It’s a common misconception that people will inform you if you aren’t doing something well.  However, most of the time, people shy away from providing feedback because it makes them feel so uncomfortable that they´d rather deal with the behavior or actions as long as they aren’t too severe. 

Thus, proactively seeking feedback is essential if you want to significantly exceed expectations.

Requesting Feedback: A Strategic Approach

1. Identify Your Desired Outcome. Consider how obtaining feedback will contribute to your goals, bet it a raise, career progression …
2. Choose Partners. Consider the individuals who are best equipped to provide the information you seek, even if they are not your closest confidants.
3. Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Utilize your EQ to determine the best approach to the conversation.  Consider communication styles, context, and timing.
4. Practice and Prepare: If you anticipate a challenging conversation, rehearse it in advance. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the interaction.
5. Multiple Channels: Request the feedback through the channel that makes the most sense for the individual you are asking. You could use e-mail, face-to-face, or on a call.  For more comprehensive feedback, you can also request a 360 assessment.

Receiving Feedback: Embracing Growth

Receiving feedback demands a different skill set – that is less tactical – than receiving it.  It’s also important to note that there are two types of feedback – expected (planned) and unexpected (ad hoc). Both require a growth mindset. This doesn’t imply that you must implement all feedback, but rather be open to considering different strategies.

Preparing for Expected Feedback:

1. Identify Your Desired Outcome: Whether it’s a raise or career advancement you should have your objective clear before going into the conversation.
2. Empathy: Put yourself in the shoes of the person providing the feedback. Think about their communication style so that you can have a discussion in a manner that resonates with them.  Also, consider if the timing is right so that you have their undivided attention.
3. Prepare and Inquire: Have questions ready, and role play the conversation if needed.

Handling Unexpected Feedback:

It’s difficult to prepare for unexpected feedback.  However, when someone says, “Can I give you some feedback?”, become aware of what’s going through your mind and aim for the following:

1. Mindset Shift: When someone offers unsolicited feedback, or unexpected feedback, become aware of your mindset and try to transition to a growth mindset.
2. Empathy and Context: Consider the context and communication style of the person giving the feedback. This will help you understand their reasoning and intent.
3. Control Your Response: Remember, you control your reaction which can influence the conversation´s tone. Politely reschedule a follow-up conversation if timing isn’t right.

During the Feedback Conversation

1. Stay Focused: Keep your desired outcome in focus to prevent drifting off topic.
2. Listen Actively: Listen attentively with a growth mindset, without judgment.
3. Fact vs. Feeling: Separate facts from perspectives and feelings.  If the feedback is constructive, it’s easy to let that bring you down.  Focus on the facts.  Remember your performance is not your identity.
4. Curiosity: Be curious and ask prepared questions. Don’t hesitate to seek clarification and always express gratitude for the feedback.

Applying Feedback and Beyond:

Analyze the feedback you received to identify what is useful and worth action. You don’t need to implement everything, nor should you try to implement too many things at once.  Following up with additional questions or sharing how you applied the feedback is a good practice; especially if you’d like more feedback from the person.  

Mastering the art of requesting and receiving feedback is a journey worth taking for personal and professional development.  It empowers you to take control of your career and life, steering it in the direction of your choice. Remember, feedback is a gift, and with the right approach, it can be the compass that guides you toward success. 

Ready to Master the Art of Feedback and Elevate Your Career?

If you’re eager to improve in your feedback-seeking and receiving skills, consider taking the next step towards personal and professional growth. We provide 1:1 coaching that can provide you with the guidance and support you need to excel in this critical area.

Sign up now and start your journey towards becoming a master at giving and receiving feedback!